Titilola Aboyade-Cole, presenter on Ben T V and CEO of Podium International, has carved a niche for herself in the UK and some parts of Europe for her positive and exciting way with which she showcases Africa to the world. Two years ago, the single mother brought her brainchild home at an elaborate event tagged ‘Podium Recognition 2010’, held at the Aquatic Hall, Water Parks, Ikeja, where she recognized a number of hardworking and talented Nigerians.
She used the opportunity to launch the much-awaited Podium International Magazine in Nigeria. The Institute of Legal Executives (ILEC) graduate is also bringing home her re-branded TV show. In this chat with Saturday Sun, Titilola spoke on her career, love life and others.
What’s your family and educational background like?
My name is Titilola Aboyade-Cole. I am a Yoruba girl from Nigeria. I came from a very religious background. My grandfather is Bishop Adeola Aboyade-Cole. I am the sixth in a family of seven. I am also a mother of three. I started my education in Nigeria from Aunty Ayo Preparatory Nur/Pry School, continued to Lagos African Church Grammar School and I did my A-levels in Ilorin. Then I moved over to England where I attended Institute of Legal Executives (ILEC).
What kind of upbringing did you have?
My father passed away when I was four and my mother brought all of us up on her own. My mum is a disciplinarian who would not spare the rod when you misbehave. She is still very much around. You dare not misbehave when she is around.We call her two-in-one because she is mummy and daddy rolled in one.
How did your upbringing contribute to what you are today?
The training has made me everything that I am today apart from the fact that God is the Almighty who has done it for me. For I have been able to weather a lot of storms because of the way my mother brought us up and particularly because my mother was a widow who had no help and she did not re-marry.
Did you desire to be a TV presenter? How did all begin?
I think it was something God had in mind for me. Although I did ILEC, I did not do LLB. Despite doing ILEC, I never practiced law for one day. I went into immigration Law but never really practiced Law for one day in England because I was discouraged by the outcome of the job interview I went for. I went for job interview some years ago and they offered to place me on 12,000 pounds per annul.
After paying my monthly rent, what was left was just 1,000 pound. Anyway, that means the salary will not even pay for my rent because I will not get to take home a 1, 000 pounds a month because I would have taken less than that after tax. So, I decided that I was not ready to climb the ladder that way because I needed something that would take care of me and of my family. At that time, I already had my daughter and I didn’t want to do more than one job. That was how I decided to go into business.
How did you come about Podium International?
It started from a television programmed that I watched in England in 2006. I was running a shop of mine then. Before I left home in the morning, they were saying this news about Nigerians that were arrested for working without papers in the Home Office. I just glimpsed and left for office. When I came back in the evening, the news was still running on BBC 24. I was furious that why wouldn’t they leave us alone.
Though I was not condoning what they did, why would they pick on that and be repeating it as if they found a bomb blast somewhere? You know, when a Nigerian does anything good, they will mention it briefly and when they do something bad, you will not hear the last of it. A friend then teased me that if I thought they were being unfair to us, I should bring out the good things Nigerians were doing. She was sarcastic with her tease.
I pondered on it and said to myself may be that is what I am going to do. I came to Nigeria, took the pictures of the beautiful places that we have and the rest is history. So, from television programmed I decided to go into magazine, event programmers, fashion and the rest as well.
How was the reception when you started?
In England, they took it very well because as at that time I didn’t think there were a lot of things like that on television. People would do stuff to bring them money but I was just doing it for passion. So, I was really showing Nigeria off telling them we have lovely places, beautiful people and so many good sides of Nigeria. It was interesting and people really liked it, they received it well. In Nigeria, it was a different kettle of fish. They are welcoming us but it is a gradual process. They are taking us on board slowly but surely.
What were the challenges you faced while coming up?
Abroad, the colour, gender and race stood against me. For a start, you are a black, an African and a woman. It was a bit challenging. In England, they give you a fair chance to prove your worth before you are accepted. In Nigeria, I cannot conclude yet. I cannot state categorically that this is what is happening here. I think being a woman is creating a bit of challenge for me. For instance, if a man goes to an office 10 times treating the same thing, there won’t be a problem. They will eventually give it to him.
But if a woman does that twice or three times, they will term it to be something else. The man that you going to see every time might even think you are interested in him and then start making passes to you. When you decline or oblige him, you dig your own grave. It is a no-win situation in Nigeria for women, you just have to tread carefully.
You talked about your colour as a problem abroad, I thought the international community preaches against racism?
Technically, they preach more against racism, but can we actually eradicate racism in England? The gender didn’t create a problem because I wasn’t getting harassed s*xually. In Nigeria, you get s*xual harassment. I don’t mean they would rape you or otherwise but when a man passes a comment that you are not contented with, he is harassing you. You get that in Nigeria not in England because there is a law protecting you from that. But you get this silent discrimination that is not really spoken out. Silent discrimination is well rooted in England.
What are the prices you paid to get this far in your career?
I had a meeting with my children before I started, though they were young. I explained to them that I am going to be spending a lot of time away from home. Yes, not spending enough time with my children is one of the prices I paid. But that has settled down a bit now because now that I am trying to relocate to Nigeria, I have brought two of them to Nigeria and we are doing great.
What do you wish to do differently this year in your life and career?
I am happy doing what I am doing. I really don’t think I want to do anything differently from what have been doing apart from improving on what I am doing right now. I am planning to put up an online television station again. We tried it sometime in England but it didn’t work quite well. Secondly, I am bringing my television show to Nigeria. The Podium itself but we have re-branded it to Titi Aboyade-Cole’s (TAC) show. It is going to be a talk show, documentary, youth wing and other interesting segments.
Few years back, you came up with Podium Recognition. What are the criteria used in selecting winners?
There are no winners or losers. We get suggestions, nominations and then we choose. Probably, we come out recognizing all the people who are making us proud but the fact that there is only one slot for one person this year does not mean that the person we did not recognize is a loser in that field for that year. The criterion is the fact that you have to do something not beneficial to only yourself but to others and Nigeria especially. A lot of people do not make us proud when they push drugs and they are caught.
They have given us such bad image that when you mention Nigeria, the first thing that comes to mind is the drug dealers, scammers and now they have even added suicide bombing to our not so good name. We are recognizing achievers in their various fields of endeavours, who are doing legitimate business and also encouraging others to emulate them, so when we are called fraudsters, we show them Femi Otedola. When we are called drug dealers we show them Mike Adenuga, and show them the positive sides of our people and country for every negative name we are called.
How do you combine your role as a mother with your numerous activities?
My first role is to be a child of God and next is to be a mother. The most important thing to me before the businesses are my children, I don’t compromise their happiness. And the next love of my life is my business because that is what makes me who I am. I cannot take all the glory of my existence because I wake up, plan my day and God takes care of the rest and whatever I cannot fit in to that day have to wait till the next day.
What are the challenges you face as single mother?
It is a status thing. A lot of people have wrong perception about term single mother. You can be a widow and be tagged a single mother and if your relationship doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean anything. Because you want to be married doesn’t mean you have to live a miserable life. I don’t see a single mother being challenged apart from the fact that sometimes you wish there is someone there to share the joys and the sorrows and all the challenges of being a parent with you because whether you are a single mum or a married mum, there are challenges of raising children. So, sometimes as a single parent, you wish there was somebody to share it with but I tell you that a lot of married people are single parents in the sense that their partners are never really there.
Have you ever wished there was somebody there for you?
The fact that I am a single parent doesn’t mean I am not in a relationship. I am actually in a relationship and I am very comfortable with my partner but I know that someday I will get married.
Why do you think marriages fail?
It is because they go into marriage for the wrong reasons. Women need to go into re-orientation. They need to understand the fact that we need to be supportive of one another. We don’t need to look for a man that can afford to do everything for you. As long as the man has got potentials, why don’t you support him? You are a human being just like the man. We don’t have to look for a rich man to marry.
You need to look for somebody you love and somebody who cares about you but a lot of people in Nigeria today may go ahead and date somebody because he can make them comfortable, secure and also meet their needs. They keep forgetting the fact that if they put their mind to it, they can actually surpass the ability of that man. I am not saying that all failed marriages are due to that because that is not why my relationship didn’t work.
There are so many things that work against marriages like infidelity, selfishness and a million of others. You get married to somebody you discover he/she is not what you thought they were, you probably don’t have to stay in there. If you try to work things out and they are not working, do not kill yourself with depression.
You need to look inward and identify your potential. As a woman, I am very comfortable with who I am. If a relationship is not working out, I am not afraid to say sorry and bow out because at the end of the day whoever wins the price, and I am the price, has won an asset because I add value to any man’s life that I am in.
Who is your ideal man?
The first thing I want in man is the fear of God because a God-fearing man will ill-treat you. As Africans, infidelity sometimes is not the worst thing that can happen in a relationship, if you say your husband is cheating on you, it depends on where you are standing or how you are looking at it because our forefathers had more than one wife. In the Bible, Abraham, King David, King Solomon and others had more than one wife, so it is not the fact that a man is cheating on you that makes him bad. I look deeper.
I look at the person in you to decide if I want to be with you or not. And the fact that I have already got three kids makes me comfortable and very calm to decide on whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. That means I am not desperate.
Don’t you think your status would be a threat to men who would want to ask your hand in marriage?
Any man that is scared of me at this point in my life, I haven’t even scratched the surface, does not deserve to be my husband because if you are going to be a crown on my head, you will not be scared of that head that you are going to sit on. I am the throne for that king to sit on.
What is your greatest fear in life?
My great fear in life is death.
What are your aspirations?
I want to get bigger and be near to perfection though it is only God that is perfect. I want to be as close to perfection as possible in everything that I do. I want to give quality at all time and also be a good mother and wife.
How do you want to be remembered?
That she did her best and achieved a lot for generations to come.
