“People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion in this world is that people are used and things are loved.” - Unknown.
When couples struggle financially, we also see an increase in domestic arguments, breakups, and chaos. It's difficult to show love toward your partner if you are worried about paying your cell phone bill, car payment and house rent. Research in this area is finding that materialistic people have unhappier marriages than couples who don't care much about possessions.
The more you value money, the more troubles you suffer at home, because work usually comes first, and after work is done, people have left you and moved on. Your intimate relationships many a times no longer exist.
Materialism causes spouses to make bad financial decisions such as spending beyond their means, which puts them in debt and stresses the marriage. People who are materialistic are working more to “get things.”
How do we value our partner, and still work hard enough to make our payments, live in a nice neighborhood, send our kids to nice schools, and splurge on a special gift for the holidays?
These five tips may help:
No matter how hard you work, if you communicate with your spouse each day, letting them know something as simple as, “I am thinking about you,” you will be nurturing your relationship.
Balance is everything. At times that is difficult and unattainable. When you know in advance that work will be consuming a lot of your time, tell your partner in advance so they can mentally prepare. Take them to dinner or spend extra time with them prior to the week or month that you need to focus on work. Remind them by saying something such as, “I am glad we have this time together, because next week (or next month) is going to be very demanding at work.” This tells your partner they are more important to you than money.
Have a family day. One day a week is sacred to families. Shut all communication off on that day. Program that day into your Blackberry, iPhone or whatever device you have so you won't schedule business.
Husbands, wives, and children all like nice things, but they love you. Their love is a gift, not something you will get paid for. No amount of money or nice things you can ever acquire will replace this love.
As a family, it's nice to have a charity to which you give every year. Let the kids be part of planning which charity means the most to them. Teaching your children early to value life rather than material is very important.
