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Home » , , » Kim Kardashian: 'I just feel so lost'

Kim Kardashian: 'I just feel so lost'

As we get closer to the Jan. 29 finale of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, the disintegration of Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries becomes more evident.
On Sunday's episode of the E! show, Kim was back from Dubai and in a bad mood. Why so serious, Kim?

Something's not right. What could it be?
The episode started with her in a bathrobe and full makeup. Hubby Kris was sitting at the table. Said Kim, "I literally got in an hour ago (from Dubai) and took my shoes off."

She said she wanted to see how she and Kris were "vibing."
Cut to a new scene. Kourtney says to the camera: "Ever since Kim got back from Dubai, I've noticed that things have been a little bit weird between her and Kris. I don't know what is going on, but it seems like Kim and Kris are constantly having this power struggle."

Kim, who is in her room and not happy about Kris' sloppy ways, explains that she's a "neat freak. It's a fact of life, so why push someone's buttons? Every time I clean something up, he messes it up. I think he does it on purpose."

Kris goes into their room. They start organizing the closets. "This gives me major anxiety," says Kim. "It makes it hard for me ..."

"to love me?" says Kris.

She doesn't answer. He opens a shoe box and throws stuff around.
Next scene: Kim is getting ready to go out. "You wanna come?" she says to her husband.

"I'm working," says Kris, at the computer. Kim begs him to come.

"I've been trying to make an effort and get things better," says Kim to the cameras.

"Come on, babe," she says to Kris, as Jonathan Cheban shows up at the door to go out.

"Let's go, dude," he says.

"Go hang with your best friend," Kris replies.

"It's so hard to get on the same page," explains Kim. "We're so off and it's really frustrating."

Mutters Jonathan: "That's weird."

Cut to a night out: Kim, Kris, Kourtney and Scott are at the Hurricane Club. Kim asks for a "fun drink with no alcohol." The waiter brings a drink and she grimaces. When the waiter asks if she likes it, she says yes and Kris chides her for being "such a two-face."

"It's like I'm trying to have a fun dinner and spend time together," says Kim. "And it's like he can't even be nice. It's almost like he has to stir up something to get attention."

Says Kourtney, "Every time I'm around Kim and Kris, there seems to be some kind of argument. It's awkward to even be around them." Kim clearly looks unhappy.

Cut to Kris eating a pizza. Kim joins him and says Khloe is mad at her. "Are you fighting with her? Cuz you're going to make up eventually," he says, adding, "You know I hate Khloe so I'm not going to get involved emotionally.... I could care less. Here's my advice: Just wait it out. You're sisters."

Kim is mad that Kris is totally dismissing it. "I don't have anyone to talk to about this," she whines.

Scott observes: "I feel like everyone hates everyone."

Back at the apartment, Kim comes in all dressed up in an animal print dress, pony tail with gold chains and thigh-high boots. Scott tries to talk to her, but she says, "I just don't have time" and looks at her phone. Says Scott: "You're pissed off at the world for no good reason."

"I've been in a horrible mood since I've got here to New York," admits Kim.
Cut to Kris Humphries getting a pedicure with a pal. "It's so relaxing to get your feet done when you're being stressed out at home," he says. He thinks Kim's fight with Khloe is "taking its toll" on their relationship. "Kim and I, we're buttin' heads a little bit. I don't know what to think."
Back at the hotel suite, Kim is at the table eating a veggie burger. "What's up, baby," says Kris, coming in from the gym. She has nothing to say.

"This is awkward. Why are you acting funny?" he says.

"I'm not. I'm just eating," says Kim with her head down, not looking at him.

"All right. You're acting strange," says Kris and gets up.

"No, I'm not," she says.

To the cameras, she says, "I just feel so lost and I don't know how I have gotten to this point."

She confronts Khloe. "I feel like I want to apologize to you," says Kim, crying, "for being really mean. And I think the reason why is I've been so unhappy in my life. I'm just so unhappy and I'm taking it out on everyone. I'm a different person and I don't like who I am in this marriage. I don't like who I am to him. I don't like who I am to myself. My gut and my heart is telling me I just, like, did this too fast and I didn't know what I was doing. And I feel, like, embarrassed. I think I got caught up in the fairy tale of it. It all seemed so great and happy. But I have not been happy."

She adds, "I don't know what to do and I've just been so mean to everyone. I just feel like not myself."

Khloe says that "being in love and marriage is not rainbows and bunnies every single day." But she supports Kim. "You have to live your life for you."

Says Kim at the end ominously, "I don't know what's going to happen."

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